Ordering people to get out of victimhood, to suck it up, that they created their own reality, that others have it worse, to snap out of it, to get over it, to let it go, to move on already, to not be dramatic, to cheer up, that they are lazy or life isn't supposed to... Continue Reading →
...and how to help people when they are down...... People can appear to be "stuck in victimhood". To resolve this, ask yourself why this happens. When you feel you have the answer, but are still silently condemning or are still irritated or feel the need to lecture, then you might not know the real reason... Continue Reading →
Nobody comes out of a traumatic background unscathed unless they have fully done the difficult blood, sweat and tears work of recovery. Some of us (like myself) are really skilled at putting on a mask and blocking out pain so convincingly that people think we are not suffering! Those who are extroverts, laugh a lot,... Continue Reading →
Not if we truly understand trauma.... I admire Marilyn Van Derbur for talking about this in her book. Last summer was the worst I felt in years due to a trigger that put me into a tailspin. Someone I knew brought on an adoption-trauma emotional flashback and I haven't been the same since. There is... Continue Reading →
I think intensity really means emotion and trauma. Very few people can handle deep emotions and traumatic material from others and this can cause great anxiety that we call "intense". We blame others, but it's really our own stuff, our own deeply repressed material, our anxiety. Because that is what "intense" really means when we... Continue Reading →
It is believed that the more we heal from our past, the more mature and stable we become. This might be a myth. If we are doing the emotional body-centered cathartic healing work, our hearts might begin to open. Once our hearts start opening, we can become more susceptible to emotional and physical flashbacks. This... Continue Reading →
It's not so much adult trauma that shapes us. The traumas that shape our lives and rule us from the shadows come from repressed childhood trauma. The reason adult trauma might have such an impact might be because it's causing the forgotten childhood trauma up to the surface through emotional flashbacks. Anytime we have a... Continue Reading →
The real elephant in the room might be childhood sexual abuse. I intuit it is the most repressed and ignored abuse there is. The reason why it's so ignored might be because it's just too painful. The stats on childhood molestation are dishonest. I suggest most sexual abuse happens to little boys and little girls... Continue Reading →
I used to be concerned with being spiritual back in 2014 when I started dipping my feet into popular spirituality, but over the last few years, my main concern is centered on being authentic. That is going to include (expressed in a safe environment) all of my authentic violent blood-red rage, anger, shame, sadness, terror,... Continue Reading →
The physical and non-physical (spiritual) aspect of trauma that very few discuss.... With trauma, there is both a physical-worldly aspect and a spiritual aspect. We might either solely focus on the physical and get overwhelmed to the point where we are often outside the "window of tolerance" (the window that allows us to feel our... Continue Reading →
A really good question someone might ask about reincarnation is "If we cannot heal our traumas in one lifetime, that means in another lifetime we have old pain to work through and then new pain to work through on top of that. That's too much and we'll never get the work done that way." I... Continue Reading →
"You've got everything you want. How could you be so unhappy?" I don't understand why we equate having money with being happy. You can live in a three story mansion, be married with 2 children and have two dogs. You can have nice green grass and a white picket fence. You can have maids and... Continue Reading →
We might not be experiencing REAL consistent choices until we begin the healing process and start deprogramming. Until then, choice or free will is illusory. Many of our decisions we think we are freely making, our thought processes and patterns, might be really old dusty running programs in our head. We don't have consciousness until... Continue Reading →
Never own a disease? Can you heal from disease using your mind? I have tried the "never own a disease" thing as in not talking about it, not saying "my restless legs, but instead saying "the restless legs". I had tried accepting it, ignoring it, denying it, talking to it nicely, asking it what it... Continue Reading →
"They are only human" "Nobody's perfect" ...in defense of child molesters and those complicit? OK. Fair enough. I really do think it is important to see we are all imperfect humans who make mistakes. But if they are mistakes, then we need to own them by resisting the temptation to justify them and apologize by... Continue Reading →
Today, I challenge the notion that we can never heal completely. I think it really depends on if we are talking about getting it all done in this lifetime or at all in terms of eternity. My opinions are based on the belief that our souls are eternal and that reincarnation is real. From the... Continue Reading →
Is it possible to fully heal from trauma without feeling any pain? What does "healing" even mean? I attempt to address the problems with New Age Therapy and Energy Healing in my post: One thing we can all collectively agree on is that we all hate pain and we do whatever we can do to... Continue Reading →
More often than not, we don't remember our trauma or have only partial memory of it. We might only have memories of the parts we can dissociate from as adults. We are not supposed to remember trauma as a means to survive it and what we DO remember, we might be desensitized from as... Continue Reading →
The inconvenient truth about healing. So many of us think all we need is one good cry and we are healed. Nothing can be further from the truth. It has become a cliche. One good cry is the start, however, not the end of it. I have heard from so many before saying things like,... Continue Reading →
People who unconsciously feel powerless in their own lives, might seek power and worship power outside themselves. They may love to obey and be agreeable to those they deem more authoritative than themselves and they may also seek to control those who they deem lesser an authority than themselves. This is one of many manifestations... Continue Reading →
If I were going to die today and I just had one piece of advice I could give to the world, I would say the worst thing you could ever tell a survivor is to move on already or to get over it or something in that vein. Whether it is child abuse, shellshock or... Continue Reading →
“Before researching trauma, I had never connected what Dr. Herman refers to as an “altered state” with how I coped with incest. If we can’t “fight or flee,” we go into an altered state. Once such state is “freezing.” We don’t decide to freeze. It’s involuntary. “If the terror continues, the child may move from... Continue Reading →
Why we might sweat the small stuff... Hey, I knock people for sweating the small stuff sometimes. We have all probably done it and might still even do it. I get it, though. We say "don't cry over spilled milk", we tell others they are being melodramatic, we tell people they're just trying to get... Continue Reading →
It seems as if we all have different opinions as to what a victim or survivor is and many of us disagree with how those words are to be used. I have made up my own meanings as to the difference between these two oversimplified words. For me "victim" is the stage of grief we... Continue Reading →
There is so much judgment and fear-mongering when it comes to diet. Unresolved trauma is stored in the body and it's no surprise our unfelt calcified emotions and undischarged freeze response manifests as somatic syndrome or physical illness. If we are interested in healing from CPTSD, however, it might be important to go on a... Continue Reading →
C-PTSD might go away when we feel the feelings revolved around the trauma. When the abuse is faced head-on we shall be free, but it takes time and it's a process. Old feelings will begin to surface as our body becomes more prepared for it. The healthier we are, the better. The OCD, panic attacks,... Continue Reading →
If therapy (whatever it is) can help you gain access to your repressed feelings in order to release them, that should really help you. Those feelings need to come out as they are toxic to your mindspiritbody. If the therapy is helping you feel better because you are dissociating from the pain, you will still... Continue Reading →
If we don't break down later in life, it's only because we are being pulled up artificially by our addictions. Are we addicted to food? Alcohol? Materialism? TV? Drugs? Cigarettes? Sex? Working? Busy-ness (we can't sit still)? Most of us are addicted to something or have some kind of method we unconsciously employ to remain... Continue Reading →
Off the Beaten Path 
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