Armchair Psychologists and How to Become Trauma-informed

"Armchair psychologist" is a derogatory term used to shame and silence those who have insight, personal experience or opinions on the human condition (without mainstream accreditation) that makes someone else feel uncomfortable. You can only opine on trauma, it's impact and the ways to heal only if you have mainstream accreditation. This makes no logical...

Why I help others….And why it’s worth it.

I have been interested in Psychology since I was 17 and ever since then, I have had my head buried in literature. In high school, I was the only one in my class who read the textbook even outside homework. I was fascinated. I wanted to know what made people tick. Now that I am...

Stockholm Syndrome and Our Perception of Love

​​ Stockholm Syndrome keeps people thinking that their abuse was normal. Unless the native wakes up, they will continue the cycle of abuse be it on their own spouses, friends, children, pets or anybody they meet and... maybe even on themselves. Stockholm Syndrome is how victims of verbal, physical, psychological, energetic and sexual abuse survive....

The Difference Between Being Desensitized and Healed

Are you shut down or healed? There is a notable difference. I used to be desensitised up until the time I was 31; I was like a stone. I didn't feel much of anything. When I went to events where people would cry like retreats, graduations or funerals, I was usually was one of the...

How Can We Reunite With Common Sense?

What is common sense? Is there such a thing? Is it common? We think one needs to have a degree to understand humans, for example. It doesn't make sense, though. Nobody needs a degree to understand who they are and what makes them and others tick. We are living as humans; what's there not to...

THE LOVE FOR ATTENTION

I was brought up to believe that the desire to want attention is to be kept suppressed. Our parents were raised to believe that if you say you love your child, give them attention when they are crying, hug and hold them, hear them, compliment them, that - that is spoiling the child. And we...

Why We Might Complain

I love people who complain probably because I love the part of me that complains. It's real. People who complain are real people. Some don't realize that you can still be grateful, fun and positive and still complain. Life isn't easy and we all need each other since we are all a part of one...

The Trigger System and How it Works

Why we might sweat the small stuff... Hey, I knock people for sweating the small stuff sometimes. We have all probably done it and might still even do it. I get it, though. We say "don't cry over spilled milk", we tell others they are being melodramatic, we tell people they're just trying to get...

Dealing With Keyboard Bullies

​The internet is like a shark's tank. It's all because people unconsciously still live in the past. They are carrying around large amounts of baggage. All that baggage and pain gets dumped on you instead. The bullies, rather than taking responsibility for their own life and feeling their feelings so they can heal from the...

The Victim and The Thriver

It seems as if we all have different opinions as to what a victim or survivor is and many of us disagree with how those words are to be used. I have made up my own meanings as to the difference between these two oversimplified words. For me "victim" is the stage of grief we...

We Might Judge What We Don’t Understand

I sometimes wonder why people think a certain way and then judge it. At face value, their thinking might not make sense from my little bubble. Then the wiser part of me responded saying "You need to take your car and park it into their garage before you even begin to understand why they do...

How to Deal with Narcissists

How not to be a victim and how to take responsibility for our own feelings and move to a place of empowerment. Change can only happen within and relationships with others help with that. This is why it's so important to have some semblance of a social life as others teach us inadvertently who we...

The Other Humility

Faux-humility might be a common practice in some regions of the world and we might do it to please others and fit into the culture. Nobody wants to be thought of as arrogant. What impresses me are those people who can admit they are smart, funny, creative and take pride in their gifts. It takes...

A Possible Answer to C-PTSD

C-PTSD might go away when we feel the feelings revolved around the trauma. When the abuse is faced head-on we shall be free, but it takes time and it's a process. Old feelings will begin to surface as our body becomes more prepared for it. The healthier we are, the better. The OCD, panic attacks,...

Could Inferiority and Superiority be Two Sides of the Same Coin?

Feelings of superiority might come as a result of growing up feeling inferior. To cope with feeling inferior, one might speak in such a way feeling superior over others making new subjects feel inferior if they grew up similarly.  And the cycle continues. An inferior disposition when comparing ourselves to another might 'survive' itself by...

What’s in a Smile?

Someone may look happy, but that doesn't mean they are. A lot of us wear a mask as that is the only way to survive in a world that shuns authenticity and feelings. We cannot handle depth because we cannot handle our own depth. We cannot handle other's feelings because we cannot handle our own....

Physical Maladies as a Survivor Tool

In order to heal, we have to really want it --- this means all parts of self (the conscious parts and the unconscious traumatized parts) must agree. If one aspect of us wants to heal and another aspect does not, recovery from trauma is inaccessible. All parts of self need to cooperate and be in...