Looking for a therapist in a culture where emotions are taboo? For those on the path to get past the past: I hope this can be of help to those in search for a good therapist. I do believe good therapists are out there. They may be slim pickens, but they are probably out there.... Continue Reading →
I came across an article written by an advocate of Dr. Arthur Janov on meditation that I found to be fair and brilliantly written. For psychology nerds and/or those on the healing path, I highly recommend this piece. You might be surprised with his take on meditation and feeling feelings.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, so please take this with a grain of salt. If you have any medical problems and need help, please see a medical doctor. The below tentative option I have is based on my own personal experiences and those of others as well and not to be substituted for medical... Continue Reading →
I have a need (like all of us) to be seen, heard, and acknowledged. So, what can we do with this primal need when it comes to relationships? Looking deeply at myself in relations with others, I am wondering if it might be unrealistic to expect to feel seen when the other party is triggered.... Continue Reading →
Not if we truly understand trauma.... I admire Marilyn Van Derbur for talking about this in her book. Last summer was the worst I felt in years due to a trigger that put me into a tailspin. Someone I knew brought on an adoption-trauma emotional flashback and I haven't been the same since. There is... Continue Reading →
It is not difficult to brainwash people. Our culture is based on submission to authority and has a high respect for people in high places such as academia. Many of us drop our discernment at scientism, degrees, status, or when an older dignified-looking man is talking with impressive language. If there is something you want... Continue Reading →
We definitely have genetic predispositions to physical illness, our appearance or a predisposition to how we might respond to stress in our environment. That is passed down through the genes. But these predispositions are activated with stimuli in the environment. For those who understand Epigenetics, the genes are the gun and our environment are the... Continue Reading →
Are those really boundaries we have or our attempts at trying to change people's personalities or a need to control others so we don't have to face hard truths about ourselves? I see people who have firm healthy boundaries. They are able to say "no" and they are able to ask for what they need. ... Continue Reading →
To be trauma-informed, you have to face your fears and find out the source of them. You have to get in your shadow to find out why you behave as you do. This means lots of body-centered cathartic emotional expression needs to take place. I see so many people who think they are trauma-informed, but... Continue Reading →
For those who think childhood sexual molestation is rare or believe that those in power are doing everything they can to get justice for the victims, think again. This is a long article, but is worth the read if you truly care to be trauma-informed. I think every client and psychologist should read this. It... Continue Reading →
Cathartic Healing: Realistic VS Unrealistic Expectations |What happens when you start to rise from the ashes... Some might find I am on the healing path and expect me to be devoid of sin and expect me to be nice and sterile and squeaky clean since I am doing the cathartic self-work. Just the opposite is... Continue Reading →
I think intensity really means emotion and trauma. Very few people can handle deep emotions and traumatic material from others and this can cause great anxiety that we call "intense". We blame others, but it's really our own stuff, our own deeply repressed material, our anxiety. Because that is what "intense" really means when we... Continue Reading →
For those of you who are either therapists or are in therapy, I cannot recommend this lecture enough. Daniel Mackler was a therapist for 10 years and also has been on the client-end and his experience can save your life, your money and your time. https://youtu.be/G2-p4A7Bl6s
We might think others are forcing their opinions down our throats or imposing their will on us. It's a common complaint especially on social media. But can people really force an opinion on others? Can people force us to go against our will? Even as adults? Nobody can force an opinion. Voicing an opinion isn't... Continue Reading →
Some traumas specifically teach us that people are objects to be used. Often, people are in "friendships" for the wrong reasons as a result. When we didn't get love growing up or if we are shut down emotionally (preventing any healing), we might need people not for friendship but for business. This is at the... Continue Reading →
Another way of knowing whether someone is "your people" is in how many times you have to explain yourself to them. Some people will read things into your words that do not represent what you said or meant. It's nobody's fault. It just means that both parties might be in different radio frequencies. Why live... Continue Reading →
With respect to all the research Marilyn Van Derbur has done on the "False Memory Syndrome Foundation", I share with you all more information on it for those interested. Are sexual predators being protected in society at the expense of their survivors? For any of those who are interested in psychology, trauma and recovery from... Continue Reading →
Nobody ever forgets what happened to them as every traumatic event is stored and remembered by the body and subconscious mind --- especially in the case of preverbal wounds. We remember everything, but for now, for some of us, those memories are blocked from our conscious mind until we can get all parts of self... Continue Reading →
I have a lot of wisdom on relationships --- not because I'm smart, but because I stink at relationships. I say this with a grin on my face because I know it's true. Slowly, very slowly, I learn about myself through my mistakes. If one door closes, another one opens and I get a new... Continue Reading →
I can appreciate all the skepticism with regard to astrology. After all, we have been conditioned to believe it is either a pseudoscience or that we are our sun signs or we have been taught the tropical/placidus western model. When it comes to Astrology, misinformation is common. We have too many astrology enthusiasts and astrologers... Continue Reading →
I have a new perspective on this: Today I want to discuss giving and getting and paying back or paying it forward. Is it possible to give or get without any iota of a fair exchange? I'm the type of person who thinks that things just work out. That the cosmos or our souls or... Continue Reading →
I really love being sensitive. It means I am alive. It means I am in touch with not just my own feelings but also yours. I am more likely to understand other people in this place. It makes it easy to hold space for others. It is definitely a step up from the shut down... Continue Reading →
Everyone's journey is different, but I need my healing process to have some big gaps of just plain old fun. I need my comforts and my enjoyments. Some may call them escape mechanisms, but whatever they are, I need to have some enjoyment in my life. I need to get out of the house, need... Continue Reading →
You Will Be Too Much for some People. Those aren't your people. Says Glennon Melton. Grieve if you must if an ending shall be. Don't let this wisdom hold you from your grief. Don't use it to bypass emotions you need to express to heal earlier wounds. At the same time, take comfort in the... Continue Reading →
Just like anyone else, I sometimes take it personally when someone takes something personally. But is it something to shame others for? Should we shame ourselves over it? I see even those who are against shaming and belittling others doing it too. Even those who embrace emotions as necessary to healing, also shame those who... Continue Reading →
Paul Sunderland Talks About Adoption and Addiction... If I could ask anything of the world, it would be to better understand trauma. Today, more specifically adoption trauma. Why are some of us so hyper-vigilant in relationships? Why do some adult adoptees push others away before their friends get a chance to? Why are some of... Continue Reading →
I have never fit into this culture. Even in misfit groups or clubs, I still find myself all alone and not able to relate to anyone. There are only just my husband and a couple people I relate to and that is it. I don't think that my misfithood makes me superior to others, though.... Continue Reading →
In our social darwinistic dog-eat-dog-each-human-to-themself culture, needing help from family, friends, and surprisingly even (sometimes) professionals is unacceptable and something to be ashamed of, generally speaking. Many of us have been brought up to believe it is sexy to be fiercely independent. A badass is someone who works hard and gets it all done by... Continue Reading →
When you start waking up and deprogramming, if you think you're not going to resent those who are still sleeping, think again. Resentment might be part of this. I think it might be inevitable due to the deep crushing isolating factor. "Being free from the brainwashing does tend to be isolating to some degree, you... Continue Reading →
I am the type of person that no matter what happens between a friend and I (even if we break up), I never stop admiring them from afar. My deep feelings about someone are permanent -- even if I sometimes feel rage against them, or complain about them --- I still love them. I never... Continue Reading →
Off the Beaten Path 
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