This question was asked to the writers of "The Courage to Heal". So, I am taking it upon myself to answer this as well since this must be a common inquiry for people like myself. My answer is that it is not depressing for me at all! I got through enough of my healing that... Continue Reading →
The part of the brain responsible for intuition, discernment, and critical thinking can get compromised when we have been traumatized as children. This is why some of us might get re-exposed to the same trauma as adults. Childhood trauma can set the stage to more victimization in adulthood because we might put our trust in... Continue Reading →
What if kindness, compassion, selflessness and love come authentically only after a process through trauma recovery? What if some forms of nice-ness are trauma responses often called "the fawn response" while kindness is a byproduct of healing? Are we being unrealistic when we ask others to be nice to us? Be nice. Be kind. Be... Continue Reading →
After reading Marilyn Van Derbur's book, "Miss America By Day", it became clear to me that incest sexual abuse could very well be one of the hardest things anyone can go through since it is the kind of abuse we are most likely to deny and forget. And on top of the abuse, not only... Continue Reading →
I came across an article written by an advocate of Dr. Arthur Janov on meditation that I found to be fair and brilliantly written. For psychology nerds and/or those on the healing path, I highly recommend this piece. You might be surprised with his take on meditation and feeling feelings.
Not if we truly understand trauma.... I admire Marilyn Van Derbur for talking about this in her book. Last summer was the worst I felt in years due to a trigger that put me into a tailspin. Someone I knew brought on an adoption-trauma emotional flashback and I haven't been the same since. There is... Continue Reading →
I am the type of person that no matter what happens between a friend and I (even if we break up), I never stop admiring them from afar. My deep feelings about someone are permanent -- even if I sometimes feel rage against them, or complain about them --- I still love them. I never... Continue Reading →
Healing takes place in relationships where transference is allowed to exist. And I DO realize this is a very tall order! In an exclusively therapeutic context there is no such thing as too much transference. In fact, rebellious attitudes about it could be counter-transference. Very few will likely admit it that is so. Transference is... Continue Reading →
Very few tell the truth about what the healing phase looks like. When I was reading “Your Soul’s Gift” by Robert Schwartz, I came across the below passage and it made a lot of sense. What so many don't realize is just how messy the healing phase is. It is not pretty. It is not... Continue Reading →
I just realized the other day that I value Truth over friendship. That is where I'm at now on my journey. Truth is the most important to me. Even the most painful difficult truths. I need truth in every aspect of my life. Truth, for me, is Life. I am ready to face reality at... Continue Reading →
It is believed that the more we heal from our past, the more mature and stable we become. This might be a myth. If we are doing the emotional body-centered cathartic healing work, our hearts might begin to open. Once our hearts start opening, we can become more susceptible to emotional and physical flashbacks. This... Continue Reading →
I created a Facebook page for Marilyn Van Derbur, a childhood incest survivor, motivational speaker and pioneer in breaking the silence around childhood sexual abuse who did not speak publicly about her abuse until 35 years later. Marilyn has devoted much of her adult life to raising national awareness and understanding of sexual abuse and... Continue Reading →
You know how they say the eye of the storm is the safest place to be? Some practicioners in body-centered cathartic therapeutic models might call this a "primal". The primal is the "eye of the storm"... For the cathartic emotional release aspect of our healing journey, we might find that we start out emoting outside... Continue Reading →
Authority Worship and Why a Compassionate Deeper Understanding is Needed A deeper reason why authority worship is so commonplace might be because some of us are unconsciously looking to be saved. Religions often promise that someone is coming from the cosmos or other planets to come here and save us. Since our parents could not... Continue Reading →
I am always fascinated by how repression works because I know how it had worked within me. It is simply amazing how our bodies remember every single thing, but our conscious minds do not. All of us have stuff repressed. It is either fully repressed or partially repressed. We are not supposed to remember what... Continue Reading →
The inconvenient truth about healing. So many of us think all we need is one good cry and we are healed. Nothing can be further from the truth. It has become a cliche. One good cry is the start, however, not the end of it. I have heard from so many before saying things like,... Continue Reading →
People who unconsciously feel powerless in their own lives, might seek power and worship power outside themselves. They may love to obey and be agreeable to those they deem more authoritative than themselves and they may also seek to control those who they deem lesser an authority than themselves. This is one of many... Continue Reading →
People who unconsciously feel powerless in their own lives, might seek power and worship power outside themselves. They may love to obey and be agreeable to those they deem more authoritative than themselves and they may also seek to control those who they deem lesser an authority than themselves. This is one of many manifestations... Continue Reading →
Egoic people will think they are egoless. Ignorant people are the most confident. Those unaware of themselves will think they are self-aware. Those who haven't begun the healing journey will call themselves lightworkers. Sleeping people will think they are awake. Unhealthy people will think they are healthy. The programmed will think they are finished deprogramming.... Continue Reading →
I have been interested in Psychology since I was 17 and ever since then, I have had my head buried in literature. In high school, I was the only one in my class who read the textbook even outside homework. I was fascinated. I wanted to know what made people tick. Now that I am... Continue Reading →
Triggers could be reminding us to feel so we can heal. There are few accidents. We all come into each other's lives to help each other grow up. The healing process all begins with a trigger (if we let it). Triggers are gifts. Emotions act like the idiot light in your car. We can either... Continue Reading →
When I was in therapy, one of the best pieces of advice I ever got was when my therapist told me "You are responsible for your actions, but you are never responsible for someone else's feelings." Of course in this context, she was talking about the feelings of adults and how we should be responsible... Continue Reading →
I think taking things personally is useful if we have the intention to use our triggers as a catalyst for our healing journey. But if our intention is to not use them, then the below quote might helpful. "Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It... Continue Reading →
I'm going to discuss the importance of self-responsibility in the context of triggers such as fear and the kind of fear I am talking about isn't to be confused with the fight, flight or freeze response. There is a lot of malicious intentional fear mongering out there. And then there is a lot of truth out... Continue Reading →
Just as we feel physical pain when healing from physical maladies, there is emotional pain if we want to heal emotionally. Pain means you're healing. In the same way we must excrete physical toxins from the body when we're healing physically, we must release emotional ones as well by giving full expression to our emotions... Continue Reading →
We complain about complainers; it's the most common complaint. But when you're really happy, high-vibing and feeling good about yourself, you won't mind people who complain. True happiness is not about resistance; it's about acceptance. As a resistor of people and life myself, I see what it does to my mindspiritbody. Resisting the personality in... Continue Reading →
Someone online today had been wondering why emotions are so taboo in society and the following came to mind... My husband often complains about how radio stations and the establishment, in general, marginalize and/or make the emotional variety of classical and operatic musical compositions close to inaccessible. There are so many other examples like this.... Continue Reading →
I used to be a member of a diet cult back in 2014. Instead of listening to my own body, I allowed the elite members to dictate what I ate and drank and how I ate and drank. It wasn't their fault; it's a choice I had made. I made the active choice to blindly... Continue Reading →
In this article I talk about the codependent proverbial "parent-child" dynamic exemplified in a group context and how our current behaviors stifle growth. I have been writing on this topic now for several years after seeing how people behave in online communities. I noticed a perverted relationship that exists between Facebook admins and their members.... Continue Reading →
The internet, the media and TV keep telling me that I should be a victim of society and feel oppressed, but I don't and I won't. I choose to hold my own and take responsibility for my own life, my own decisions and my own feelings. I refuse to let anyone take me from me.... Continue Reading →
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