The most raw expression you have, the most authentic part of you is your emotions. Emotions are rage, anger, jealousy, terror, fear, sadness, shame, guilt, helplessness, joy, laughter, bliss, happiness.... "In order to fully embrace our inner power, we first need to accept all emotions rather than ignoring certain emotions that we think are too... Continue Reading →
I keep hearing people talk about how even if we recover from our pasts, that life is still hopeless because of the modern world. Or that people without any trauma should still feel despair and grief because the modern world is corrupt. This is, as always, my opinion, but I don't think there is anything... Continue Reading →
It doesn't make sense that a possum would play possum. How is that any help for the possum? Animals kill other animals -- not because they are acting out their repressed rage from childhood, but for their food! A possum playing dead gives no advantage to herself since her predator will eat her dead or... Continue Reading →
The collective cost of not being there for each other....and the justified vicious cycle.... We all know we cannot complain in our culture. Only few do it openly. How are you? Fine. Even when life is not fine, we know better. We say fine. Everyone's got problems and nobody wants to hear yours. Because it's... Continue Reading →
Most things about me are slow and "late to the party" for a lack of a better term. My mom used to call me a "dumb Pollack" growing up because it takes me a long time to learn new things. I am also slow to understand what people are saying and often ask people to... Continue Reading →
IS IT REALLY MENTAL "ILLNESS"? Maybe the name should be changed to "Survivor Reaction Suppression"? This is a phenomenon where as children, we froze because we could not either flee or fight off our attackers. Freeze is one of 4 biological stress responses to trauma and unhealed people live in a functional variation of unexpressed... Continue Reading →
Truth is 100% objective. It's perception that is subjective and individual. We are all mutated and unhealed in some fashion and so long as we have unhealed wounds, we might unconsciously continue to see the world and others through the lens of wounds (the child mind). This is why we all have unique perceptions. Our... Continue Reading →
Ordering people to get out of victimhood, to suck it up, that they created their own reality, that others have it worse, to snap out of it, to get over it, to let it go, to move on already, to not be dramatic, to cheer up, that they are lazy or life isn't supposed to... Continue Reading →
When we carry unresolved trauma (and we all have been traumatized to some degree or another), our past rules our thoughts, our dreams, our behaviors, our addictions, our choices, our beLIEfs, and our health. One thing that brings us all together is that we are living in the past while not being conscious of it.... Continue Reading →
"Armchair psychologist" is a derogatory term used to shame and silence those who have insight, personal experience or opinions on the human condition (without mainstream accreditation) that makes someone else feel uncomfortable. You can only opine on trauma, it's impact and the ways to heal only if you have mainstream accreditation. This makes no logical... Continue Reading →
...and how to help people when they are down...... People can appear to be "stuck in victimhood". To resolve this, ask yourself why this happens. When you feel you have the answer, but are still silently condemning or are still irritated or feel the need to lecture, then you might not know the real reason... Continue Reading →
When we are being raped, someone is literally imposing their will on us. We realize at that point we are powerless and there is no escape. Rape is a power-grab. Unhealed childhood sexual abuse can cause us to feel like others are forcing their opinions down our throat even when that is not happening. When... Continue Reading →
The word "healing" in our culture has two different meanings depending on who is talking. There is one kind of healing that is false-healing which does not involve much pain. The main goal of most therapists, spiritual teachers and life-coaches (even if they have good intentions) is to get you to trick your mind into... Continue Reading →
Nobody comes out of a traumatic background unscathed unless they have fully done the difficult blood, sweat and tears work of recovery. Some of us (like myself) are really skilled at putting on a mask and blocking out pain so convincingly that people think we are not suffering! Those who are extroverts, laugh a lot,... Continue Reading →
Concerning the inquiry of why people sexually abuse others, there have been many people who have dug deeply and have shared their views. Generously, Adrian Millane of Australia, opined on this topic today and gave me the permission to share it. I think this is important to read because if we don't get to the... Continue Reading →
The most troubled people might feel the need to have positive people around them to counter all the negative thoughts and behaviors they exhibit. This might be why positivity is often preached. I had wondered my whole life why positive people were often the ones displaying negative behavioral patters. My tentative opinion is that they... Continue Reading →
It is very common for childhood sexual abuse survivors who have their memories and emotions fully or partially repressed to need to live in a "sterile bubble". In an environment or any hint of the slightest bit of anything outside of "positivity" puts the survivor at risk to repressed memories and emotions arriving to the... Continue Reading →
False-positivity is a fear-based defense mechanism we might use to protect ourselves from truths we might not want to face. Often this form of denial is masqueraded as an enlightened state when in reality, people in this state cannot cope with reality. There is nothing wrong with living in fear, but so long as we... Continue Reading →
If you think you are healed and don't have compassion for humanity and all the stages they pass through on the road to self-authentication, then you have not healed. If you are condemning others or trying to push them to a stage they are not ready for yet, that is not what being healed looks... Continue Reading →
There are some therapies out there that promise the body stuff and the emotional release and we can get a tremendous amount of benefit from those cathartic therapies. But there is a caveat. In the case of Core Energetics (CE), they might interrupt the automatic process of regression and reliving. Contrary to popular belief, to... Continue Reading →
After reading Marilyn Van Derbur's book, "Miss America By Day", it became clear to me that incest sexual abuse could very well be one of the hardest things anyone can go through since it is the kind of abuse we are most likely to deny and forget. And on top of the abuse, not only... Continue Reading →
Looking for a therapist in a culture where emotions are taboo? For those on the path to get past the past: I hope this can be of help to those in search for a good therapist. I do believe good therapists are out there. They may be slim pickens, but they are probably out there.... Continue Reading →
I came across an article written by an advocate of Dr. Arthur Janov on meditation that I found to be fair and brilliantly written. For psychology nerds and/or those on the healing path, I highly recommend this piece. You might be surprised with his take on meditation and feeling feelings.
I have a need (like all of us) to be seen, heard, and acknowledged. So, what can we do with this primal need when it comes to relationships? Looking deeply at myself in relations with others, I am wondering if it might be unrealistic to expect to feel seen when the other party is triggered.... Continue Reading →
It is not difficult to brainwash people. Our culture is based on submission to authority and has a high respect for people in high places such as academia. Many of us drop our discernment at scientism, degrees, status, or when an older dignified-looking man is talking with impressive language. If there is something you want... Continue Reading →
We definitely have genetic predispositions to physical illness, our appearance or a predisposition to how we might respond to stress in our environment. That is passed down through the genes. But these predispositions are activated with stimuli in the environment. For those who understand Epigenetics, the genes are the gun and our environment are the... Continue Reading →
Are those really boundaries we have or our attempts at trying to change people's personalities or a need to control others so we don't have to face hard truths about ourselves? I see people who have firm healthy boundaries. They are able to say "no" and they are able to ask for what they need. ... Continue Reading →
To be trauma-informed, you have to face your fears and find out the source of them. You have to get in your shadow to find out why you behave as you do. This means lots of body-centered cathartic emotional expression needs to take place. I see so many people who think they are trauma-informed, but... Continue Reading →
For those who think childhood sexual molestation is rare or believe that those in power are doing everything they can to get justice for the victims, think again. This is a long article, but is worth the read if you truly care to be trauma-informed. I think every client and psychologist should read this. It... Continue Reading →
Cathartic Healing: Realistic VS Unrealistic Expectations |What happens when you start to rise from the ashes... Some might find I am on the healing path and expect me to be devoid of sin and expect me to be nice and sterile and squeaky clean since I am doing the cathartic self-work. Just the opposite is... Continue Reading →
Off the Beaten Path 
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