The most troubled people might feel the need to have positive people around them to counter all the negative thoughts and behaviors they exhibit. This might be why positivity is often preached. I had wondered my whole life why positive people were often the ones displaying negative behavioral patters. My tentative opinion is that they... Continue Reading →
It is very common for childhood sexual abuse survivors who have their memories and emotions fully or partially repressed to need to live in a "sterile bubble". In an environment or any hint of the slightest bit of anything outside of "positivity" puts the survivor at risk to repressed memories and emotions arriving to the... Continue Reading →
False-positivity is a fear-based defense mechanism we might use to protect ourselves from truths we might not want to face. Often this form of denial is masqueraded as an enlightened state when in reality, people in this state cannot cope with reality. There is nothing wrong with living in fear, but so long as we... Continue Reading →
If you think you are healed and don't have compassion for humanity and all the stages they pass through on the road to self-authentication, then you have not healed. If you are condemning others or trying to push them to a stage they are not ready for yet, that is not what being healed looks... Continue Reading →
They can be found here.
There are some therapies out there that promise the body stuff and the emotional release and we can get a tremendous amount of benefit from those cathartic therapies. But there is a caveat. In the case of Core Energetics (CE), they might interrupt the automatic process of regression and reliving. Contrary to popular belief, to... Continue Reading →
What if kindness, compassion, selflessness and love come authentically only after a process through trauma recovery? What if some forms of nice-ness are trauma responses often called "the fawn response" while kindness is a byproduct of healing? Are we being unrealistic when we ask others to be nice to us? Be nice. Be kind. Be... Continue Reading →
Many think classical music is boring and I cannot blame people for that. To be fair, we are not really exposed to all the branches of the tree of classical music. Our exposure is grossly limited. My husband has opened my eyes to cathartic classical music. How can one watch the below orchestra and think... Continue Reading →
I am so glad there is a "word" for people like myself. My real people are those who aren't afraid of communication. "As many of us have found out, silence can be violence when it is used in an effort to wound. It is one of the most potent ways to cause deep suffering. And... Continue Reading →
After reading Marilyn Van Derbur's book, "Miss America By Day", it became clear to me that incest sexual abuse could very well be one of the hardest things anyone can go through since it is the kind of abuse we are most likely to deny and forget. And on top of the abuse, not only... Continue Reading →
Looking for a therapist in a culture where emotions are taboo? For those on the path to get past the past: I hope this can be of help to those in search for a good therapist. I do believe good therapists are out there. They may be slim pickens, but they are probably out there.... Continue Reading →
I came across an article written by an advocate of Dr. Arthur Janov on meditation that I found to be fair and brilliantly written. For psychology nerds and/or those on the healing path, I highly recommend this piece. You might be surprised with his take on meditation and feeling feelings.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, so please take this with a grain of salt. If you have any medical problems and need help, please see a medical doctor. The below tentative option I have is based on my own personal experiences and those of others as well and not to be substituted for medical... Continue Reading →
I have a need (like all of us) to be seen, heard, and acknowledged. So, what can we do with this primal need when it comes to relationships? Looking deeply at myself in relations with others, I am wondering if it might be unrealistic to expect to feel seen when the other party is triggered.... Continue Reading →
Not if we truly understand trauma.... I admire Marilyn Van Derbur for talking about this in her book. Last summer was the worst I felt in years due to a trigger that put me into a tailspin. Someone I knew brought on an adoption-trauma emotional flashback and I haven't been the same since. There is... Continue Reading →
It is not difficult to brainwash people. Our culture is based on submission to authority and has a high respect for people in high places such as academia. Many of us drop our discernment at scientism, degrees, status, or when an older dignified-looking man is talking with impressive language. If there is something you want... Continue Reading →
We definitely have genetic predispositions to physical illness, our appearance or a predisposition to how we might respond to stress in our environment. That is passed down through the genes. But these predispositions are activated with stimuli in the environment. For those who understand Epigenetics, the genes are the gun and our environment are the... Continue Reading →
Are those really boundaries we have or our attempts at trying to change people's personalities or a need to control others so we don't have to face hard truths about ourselves? I see people who have firm healthy boundaries. They are able to say "no" and they are able to ask for what they need. ... Continue Reading →
To be trauma-informed, you have to face your fears and find out the source of them. You have to get in your shadow to find out why you behave as you do. This means lots of body-centered cathartic emotional expression needs to take place. I see so many people who think they are trauma-informed, but... Continue Reading →
For those who think childhood sexual molestation is rare or believe that those in power are doing everything they can to get justice for the victims, think again. This is a long article, but is worth the read if you truly care to be trauma-informed. I think every client and psychologist should read this. It... Continue Reading →
Cathartic Healing: Realistic VS Unrealistic Expectations |What happens when you start to rise from the ashes... Some might find I am on the healing path and expect me to be devoid of sin and expect me to be nice and sterile and squeaky clean since I am doing the cathartic self-work. Just the opposite is... Continue Reading →
I think intensity really means emotion and trauma. Very few people can handle deep emotions and traumatic material from others and this can cause great anxiety that we call "intense". We blame others, but it's really our own stuff, our own deeply repressed material, our anxiety. Because that is what "intense" really means when we... Continue Reading →
For those of you who are either therapists or are in therapy, I cannot recommend this lecture enough. Daniel Mackler was a therapist for 10 years and also has been on the client-end and his experience can save your life, your money and your time. https://youtu.be/G2-p4A7Bl6s
Off the Beaten Path 