We might think others are forcing their opinions down our throats or imposing their will on us. It's a common complaint especially on social media. But can people really force an opinion on others? Can people force us to go against our will? Even as adults? Nobody can force an opinion. Voicing an opinion isn't... Continue Reading →
Some traumas specifically teach us that people are objects to be used. Often, people are in "friendships" for the wrong reasons as a result. When we didn't get love growing up or if we are shut down emotionally (preventing any healing), we might need people not for friendship but for business. This is at the... Continue Reading →
Another way of knowing whether someone is "your people" is in how many times you have to explain yourself to them. Some people will read things into your words that do not represent what you said or meant. It's nobody's fault. It just means that both parties might be in different radio frequencies. Why live... Continue Reading →
With respect to all the research Marilyn Van Derbur has done on the "False Memory Syndrome Foundation", I share with you all more information on it for those interested. Are sexual predators being protected in society at the expense of their survivors? For any of those who are interested in psychology, trauma and recovery from... Continue Reading →
Nobody ever forgets what happened to them as every traumatic event is stored and remembered by the body and subconscious mind --- especially in the case of preverbal wounds. We remember everything, but for now, for some of us, those memories are blocked from our conscious mind until we can get all parts of self... Continue Reading →
I have a lot of wisdom on relationships --- not because I'm smart, but because I stink at relationships. I say this with a grin on my face because I know it's true. Slowly, very slowly, I learn about myself through my mistakes. If one door closes, another one opens and I get a new... Continue Reading →
I can appreciate all the skepticism with regard to astrology. After all, we have been conditioned to believe it is either a pseudoscience or that we are our sun signs or we have been taught the tropical/placidus western model. When it comes to Astrology, misinformation is common. We have too many astrology enthusiasts and astrologers... Continue Reading →
I have a new perspective on this: Today I want to discuss giving and getting and paying back or paying it forward. Is it possible to give or get without any iota of a fair exchange? I'm the type of person who thinks that things just work out. That the cosmos or our souls or... Continue Reading →
I really love being sensitive. It means I am alive. It means I am in touch with not just my own feelings but also yours. I am more likely to understand other people in this place. It makes it easy to hold space for others. It is definitely a step up from the shut down... Continue Reading →
Everyone's journey is different, but I need my healing process to have some big gaps of just plain old fun. I need my comforts and my enjoyments. Some may call them escape mechanisms, but whatever they are, I need to have some enjoyment in my life. I need to get out of the house, need... Continue Reading →
You Will Be Too Much for some People. Those aren't your people. Says Glennon Melton. Grieve if you must if an ending shall be. Don't let this wisdom hold you from your grief. Don't use it to bypass emotions you need to express to heal earlier wounds. At the same time, take comfort in the... Continue Reading →
Just like anyone else, I sometimes take it personally when someone takes something personally. But is it something to shame others for? Should we shame ourselves over it? I see even those who are against shaming and belittling others doing it too. Even those who embrace emotions as necessary to healing, also shame those who... Continue Reading →
Paul Sunderland Talks About Adoption and Addiction... If I could ask anything of the world, it would be to better understand trauma. Today, more specifically adoption trauma. Why are some of us so hyper-vigilant in relationships? Why do some adult adoptees push others away before their friends get a chance to? Why are some of... Continue Reading →
I have never fit into this culture. Even in misfit groups or clubs, I still find myself all alone and not able to relate to anyone. There are only just my husband and a couple people I relate to and that is it. I don't think that my misfithood makes me superior to others, though.... Continue Reading →
In our social darwinistic dog-eat-dog-each-human-to-themself culture, needing help from family, friends, and surprisingly even (sometimes) professionals is unacceptable and something to be ashamed of, generally speaking. Many of us have been brought up to believe it is sexy to be fiercely independent. A badass is someone who works hard and gets it all done by... Continue Reading →
When you start waking up and deprogramming, if you think you're not going to resent those who are still sleeping, think again. Resentment might be part of this. I think it might be inevitable due to the deep crushing isolating factor. "Being free from the brainwashing does tend to be isolating to some degree, you... Continue Reading →
I am the type of person that no matter what happens between a friend and I (even if we break up), I never stop admiring them from afar. My deep feelings about someone are permanent -- even if I sometimes feel rage against them, or complain about them --- I still love them. I never... Continue Reading →
Healing takes place in relationships where transference is allowed to exist. And I DO realize this is a very tall order! In an exclusively therapeutic context there is no such thing as too much transference. In fact, rebellious attitudes about it could be counter-transference. Very few will likely admit it that is so. Transference is... Continue Reading →
Very few tell the truth about what the healing phase looks like. When I was reading “Your Soul’s Gift” by Robert Schwartz, I came across the below passage and it made a lot of sense. What so many don't realize is just how messy the healing phase is. It is not pretty. It is not... Continue Reading →
I just realized the other day that I value Truth over friendship. That is where I'm at now on my journey. Truth is the most important to me. Even the most painful difficult truths. I need truth in every aspect of my life. Truth, for me, is Life. I am ready to face reality at... Continue Reading →
It is believed that the more we heal from our past, the more mature and stable we become. This might be a myth. If we are doing the emotional body-centered cathartic healing work, our hearts might begin to open. Once our hearts start opening, we can become more susceptible to emotional and physical flashbacks. This... Continue Reading →
I created a Facebook page for Marilyn Van Derbur, a childhood incest survivor, motivational speaker and pioneer in breaking the silence around childhood sexual abuse who did not speak publicly about her abuse until 35 years later. Marilyn has devoted much of her adult life to raising national awareness and understanding of sexual abuse and... Continue Reading →
Off the Beaten Path 