You’ve Got Everything | How Could You Be So Unhappy?

“You’ve got everything you want. How could you be so unhappy?”

I don’t understand why we equate having money with being happy.

You can live in a three story mansion, be married with 2 children and have two dogs. You can have nice green grass and a white picket fence. You can have maids and butlers. You can be so rich that you don’t even have to work. The sun can shine on your nose every morning as you overlook your 30 acre backyard with deer and a yacht. You can be beautiful and famous too, but if your childhood wounds are still unhealed, you cannot appreciate what you have. Your repressed emotions keep you from feeling the positives ones as you could. While you might feign happiness, you might be miserable on the inside. People envy you for having everything, but you hold on to 10 thousand screams on the inside. You feel like you’re dying underneath your smile and white clean teeth. You know deep down inside you don’t have what is most important: Love, connection and freedom.

Money, things, beauty and popularity are boring to one who is empty and numb on the inside. Trauma does not care how rich, beautiful and popular you are. Trauma does not discriminate. Marilyn Van Derbur counters the myth in her book that incest, for example, doesn’t just happen to “those people” living in “that area”.

Whether your life is joyful or not is contingent upon your healing progress. If you have been traumatized as a child, you struggle just like anyone else, you feel you don’t matter just like everyone else, you crave to be loved just like everyone else, you have suicidal thoughts like anyone else would, your emotional pain is manifested physically as with everyone else, you’re addicted to something like everyone else……. so why oh why — pray tell — do we pay so much attention to money in the context of whether you’re happy or not?

The real privileged people weren’t traumatized as children. And even so, why must we always care about someone being less fortunate or more fortunate? What’s behind our obsession with labels and all the us and thems? I know. Us vs thems glorify one group’s pain while gaslighting the other group. That’s how the establishment keeps us all pinned against one another when the real truth is that we are all in this together. The only difference between one person and another is whether their problems are visible or not.

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