Why I support activism and the search for Truth
…And how my friend’s activism saved my own life.
I woke up under unusual circumstances. On May 1st of 2013, I saw a video posted on my friend’s timeline. I got post traumatic stress symptoms for quite some time after watching it and spending months doing nothing but running my own personal investigations online and in the real world. I had agreed to take the red pill. After months of reading around 8 hours a day as the research buff that I am, I wanted to end my life after my own personal experiences I had in the real world matched what I had read. Talk about sobriety. My intuition knew this was truth. I won’t tell you why it traumatized me so much, but I only got so traumatized because of an unresolved wound in my past. That is what it had triggered. So, I used this pain to start my healing journey.
I had known the truth in this video for the longest time but didn’t want to see it before because it was so much easier to live in unconscious fear for me than to be liberated by the truth. Unconscious fear for me had been a form of safety and comfort. The unconscious fear was a drug and it is for many and we cannot do much about it as we’re not aware of it. The video was not fear-mongering, by the way Truth is not fear. Once I saw the video, as scary as it was (though that wasn’t its intention), I shifted. I felt a sense of liberation. Dots started to connect for me. So if you can imagine the paradox here in that I was traumatized and liberated all at once. I was weak to face the reality before, but my soul knew I could handle it back in 2013.
This video was not about health, but even so, before seeing it, I was sick, eating junk food, drugged on several different kinds of medication and supplements, smoking 2.5 packs of cigarettes a day, had so many self-defeating negative beliefs, and was just waiting to die. I mean that in the most literal sense. I had never enjoyed being alive that I can remember. I was just doing the moves, feigning smiles and doing the dance anyway, but my spirit had dulled.
After seeing that video that most might call “negative” or “fear-mongering” or “unimportant for growth”, my life changed for the positive as I got so much really deep emotional healing done. I started the next phase of my healing (physical, emotional, spiritual) journey in October of 2013 and I am still on it today. That video, unrelated to anything about health, gave me just the push I had needed to start living my life since I had been suicidally depressed. If I had not seen that video, I would not be where I am today.
This is why it is frustrating when I hear others saying “don’t dwell in the negative”. No. I NEEDED to be where I was as that was my way to get where I am TODAY. I did everything right. None of that was an accident. Again, I cannot stress this enough but my friend posting that video saved my life. I post truthy stuff in case there are others like me out there who also need to wake up to come alive again. I strongly believe this journey is about learning who we are and part of finding ourselves is in being aware and when we are aware of the world outside us, it can help us learn who we are. I feel much stronger knowing what is going on than in believing the lies. When you believe in lies, you die slowly. Apathy also is another form of death. Also when you know the external world, you make better decisions for yourself. It’s a form of self-care. And those who are still asleep are making poor decisions and are doing the bidding for the very establishment creating the problems. When we are unaware, we become part of the problem instead of the solution.
I still have problems, many problems, but I am the happiest I have ever been in my whole life. I no longer long for my past anymore because my present is so much better than any other time in my life. I am so much stronger now. I can handle so much more. You can show me anything, talk to me about anything or propose anything to me and I don’t cringe. I got off all my medication and started to care about myself. I don’t have nearly as many fears left. It is difficult to scare me anymore. This is what healing does; once you begin to release, through emotions and through your body, the unresolved issues of your past, the present cannot scare you as much.
There is no fear in truth. Fear lies in denial, idealism, blind optimism, apathy, spiritual bypass, denial, distraction, superficiality, faux positivity, and resistance to possibilities that could lead to learning the truth. That is what fear is all about. Fear runs and hides. I don’t know all the details about what is going on in the world, but I see the big picture now and it’s a lot worse than we think it is and it’s a lot better than we think it is. I know that everything that is happening might be because we need it to move to the next step of our collective growth. Our unresolved debris from the past keeps us fearing the present so when you start working on yourself, I kid you not…. you will find your strength and the warrior within you. The key is feeling your feelings. It’s really THAT simple.
There’s a lot of negativity happening in the world and I knew that before incarnating that I would be experiencing all of this. I need it. And so might you. And the faster you face it, the sooner you will heal and be liberated if that is the path you chose to take. What I am writing is not applicable to everyone… only those on the same path. I think we’re all here for different reasons.
Also notable, those who say they don’t fear anything are the same people who fear the most; it’s just that their fear is unconscious. It’s unconscious fear that does the most damage to a person. In any event, what I am saying is that when you face the “negative”, you will start living a positive life. Running from the “devil” keeps you CONTROLLED by it. Face it. And then enjoy your liberation.