Why Anger and Rage are Our Friends and Why God (the energy of Love) Gave us These Two Magical Emotions // Sorry this is long, but I hope you will read this in full before arriving to any conclusions. I know this is a difficult subject, but it’s important for those on the path to healing. If you don’t feel you’re on this path, than this post might be too triggering.
I did not begin to discover what true joy, love and bliss felt like until I began releasing my anger and rage. It was 2017, I went into my soundproof closet and let out some wild rage. After that, I felt so much love and connection. On another occasion when I was feeling my rage, afterward, I let out so much grief and then felt the presence of God. I felt loved, supported and understood. God, this amazing energy of Pure Love, validated me. It was a surreal experience.
You will not have complete access to the positive emotions (at the potential they could be) until you express the negative ones — those emotions you feel the most shameful of. Anger is a toughy. Rage, even tougher. ….because we learned from a young age that we’d get punished for it. If it meant you got a spanking or beat up as a child for getting angry, unconsciously your body might remember this and suppresses all or most anger. If you watched your parents fight and saw their own anger even at you, you unconsciously might remember that and it might make you afraid of other people’s anger even if they are not being violent. When you get triggered by one’s anger, it might be an emotional flashback reminding you of someone in your past that got angry and traumatized you with that anger. I guess we can call that weaponized anger. Technically, other people’s anger should not affect us at all. When I see someone getting angry, I feel liberated even though it’s not even my anger. I love anger. It’s a gorgeous magical emotion if expressed in a safe place.
As adults, we learn anger is bad and/or nonspiritual. When you release rage and anger, however, you stop acting it out on others. We only see so many people taking their anger out on others because they do not release it in a safe environment. There is a huge difference between expressing an emotion and acting it out that is underappreciated. So many act out because they are suppressing instead of expressing. The pain of the anger we sense is the resistance to it. Resistance is more painful than the emotion itself. People will either externalize their repressed rage or internalize it. Either way, we are suffering until we actually release it properly and completely. And sometimes we might slip up and act out these emotions before we can get to the feeling part to release.
I had been angry all my life. I remember my anger in elementary school and I remember one day thinking (at school) that I must keep it inside because of how explosive and scary it was. I couldn’t even let out a peep of it because I knew I might lose control and I was afraid of that and what the consequences might be. Since it was never safe for me to let go of my anger at home, I suffered keeping it inside of me. Nobody ever knew I was an angry person. I smiled, I laughed, I danced, I joked… I was a good little girl… for show, only for show. Deep down inside, I was often angry. Because I had to keep it all in, I disliked most people. The anger in me grew by the day; the more it grew, the more I didn’t like people. I went into adulthood pretty much disliking everybody (this was before I started doing release work). I internalized it all. At seven years old, I had already been wanting to die and praying that God would take me. This is what can happen when we hold on to our anger. Why do you think the suicide rate is so high? As a child we don’t have a choice as it’s unsafe to let it go. We are powerless. As an adult, that sense of powerlessness might still be with us unconsciously. The only way to get our power back is to RELEASE the anger. Our power IS inside that anger. It isn’t easy to release. Because all you might remember, even if unconsciously, is that spanking you got as a kid for attempting to let it out. All you can remember, even if unconsciously, might be your parent’s disapproval. It is a slow and long process. Could even take lifetimes and we may spend a lot of time discharging and acting out our anger before we get to the release part only to find the grief that so badly wanted to be felt.
In the year of 2013, I started having rage attacks and then I would sit down and cry. This happened on a regular basis and then it occurred to me years later, that — that had been my body unable to continue holding on to all that rage. That made me realize… we don’t have a choice. Healing often is an involuntary process. Our souls will get to this point where you either release or get cancer or maybe even die.
When we hold on to our anger and rage, we never get the chance to let go of our grief. It’s grief that lives inside the hard shell of our anger. When we crack that shell open, grief just flows and that is when love, bliss and joy can be felt fully. It’s amazing.
What to do if you are affected by someone else’s anger or even the mere mention of anger? Use that as a catalyst to look deep inside of you and find out why it bothers you. Write about it. Feel about it. What’s going on, there? The truth is nobody can make you feel anything that is not already inside YOU. If you have a lot of repressed anger, chances are you feel very uncomfortable with just the word “anger” alone. We are responsible for what we put out there and how we treat others and equally responsible for how other’s make us feel. ..and for how words make us feel. When we own our own roles (for our behavior and feelings), we can eventually become free from being triggered. Because I have done a lot of release work, I am not as affected by strong emotion as I once was long ago. You will change as you start to do your own release work.
My husband and I have had several yelling matches since 1999, the year we met. When I tell people this, they are horrified. Haha! I laugh about it. For Fritz and I, it’s no big deal. We don’t take each other so seriously as other couples might. Anger makes some feel terrified as we remember the damaging weaponized anger of the household we grew up in so when others get angry, we might be prone to flashbacks and become hysterical. But with regard to my husband and I, ha! We let our anger out and then hours later we are loving each other and probably laughing. Being honest with each other had made us stronger. Any of you who have met Fritz and I know we are crazy about each other and we always brag that we probably have a more stable marriage than most people. It’s because we are HONEST. Honesty and authenticity is a must for a healthy marriage and friendship.
Anyway, here’s some additional wisdom on this topic:
“In order to fully embrace our inner power, we first need to accept all emotions rather than ignoring certain emotions that we think are too weak, bad, or negative. Suppressing emotions doesn’t end them; it just buries the emotions under the surface. So the suppressed emotions are waiting for their chance to come back. This is why some people feel the same fear, anger, and sorrow repeatedly — and sometimes quite unexpectedly.
In other words, when you judge and suppress emotions, you become your own threatening enemy from whom you can never get away. You also miss feeling joy and happiness because all emotions come through the same pathway. Suppressing one emotion means suppressing all emotions. Consequently, your life shrinks as your feelings shrink. In contrast, if you dare to feel all emotions, you will soon find that the emotions pass quite quickly. ~”Why We Are Born: Remembering Our Purpose through the Akashic Records” by Akemi G
Feel your feelings and be free.