The inconvenient truth about healing.
So many of us think all we need is one good cry and we are healed. Nothing can be further from the truth. It has become a cliche. One good cry is the start, however, not the end of it. I have heard from so many before saying things like, “I thought I was healed and then I cried for hours or this overwhelming feeling came…I thought I was done, but…….” Very common. It’s not healing but it’s common to think we are done prematurely or for some to even lie to ourselves about being healed.
Thinking we are healed prematurely might be another way we protect ourselves from emotions and memories that are too hard to bear — especially if the root is repressed sexual trauma. The desensitization we might feel at times could be due to dissociation — not actual healing. We all want to jump to get our diplomas before we even go to school. Some people say they have healed to feel superior or more advanced than others. Saying we’re already done with healing can give weaker, more insecure people an ego boost. Generally speaking, if someone is bragging that they are healed, that is a red flag that they are probably not as one aspect of healing is humility. When we heal, we no longer have a need to feel special or better than others so we no longer need to advertise it. All these lies we tell ourselves keep us further stuck in our past which keeps us controlled by it.
The word “healed” or “healing” has become so watered down that it means almost nothing these days. It means little to no work. But it’s not real healing. So many of us have very oversimplified and shallow ideas about healing. Healing, however, at its essence, is too deep to understand entirely.
What people don’t realize is that real healing — healing that involves the physical, the spiritual and the emotional can actually take years if not lifetimes. Due to new age dogma, we are conditioned to believe so many lies about the true healing process. The truth about healing is that we heal in stages in a slow progressive state. The reason why is because with every release of emotion and with every somatic reliving of trauma (which is as important as emotions), we experience an energetic shift. The energetic shift it takes to move from spiritual infancy to spiritual maturity is huge and our bodies cannot handle one big huge shift happening at once. This is why we heal is stages even if we make big jumps every now and then.
Let’s not belittle the real healing process. Most trauma is fully or partially repressed and I intuit it usually involves sexual abuse. Repression means that our bodies and souls remember everything but we have consciously blocked out the pain to survive. One good cry does not heal any kind of childhood trauma — even neglect, even adoption, even medical trauma. I wish I could tell everyone that one cry fixes us all and takes us to an early self-actualization. I wish that was the case for myself, but it’s not reality. It’s wishful thinking and for some, egoic posturing.