The problems with pop-spirituality…..
–There are no mistakes.
–There’s no going off course.
–You are already healed.
–You are perfect just the way you are.
–You don’t need to improve upon anything.
–There is no guilt even if you intentionally hurt someone else.
–If you see someone hurt on the street, walk on by because they asked for it.
–There are no victims.
The above is often a part of many spiritual teachings. The truth is usually somewhere in between both extremes. Everything is both — not one or the other. I often see a lot of floaty spiritual concepts countered by concepts that suggest everything is a random accident with no opportunities for growth and expansion. Both are the two extremes and both might be dangerously misleading. The truth is often right down the middle. It is self-sabotaging to give our power to either extreme. When our consciousness is so split, sometimes all we can see is black or white, but as we heal and our consciousness integrates, it becomes so much easier to appreciate how complex we and the world are.
Part of maturing spiritually is being able to call yourself out your own bullshit. The truth is we do make mistakes, we do things that are just plain old wrong, we have harmed people before and we are responsible for that, we are responsible for our actions, we CAN go off course, we DO have flaws, we have unresolved wounds to heal, we SHOULD feel guilt for choices we have made that harmed others (to separate us from sociopaths)! We SHOULD apologize to others when it is genuine. We are all victims until we heal our wounds. Being a victim is not wrong or bad. Our stories are not stories. They are real events that have traumatized us so much that we have had to split up our own consciousness to survive it and now we have symptoms of post traumatic stress until we heal the wound.
The truth is, you didn’t get that job because you showed up to the interview late. You screwed up. Own that and work toward not doing it again lol.
“I understand why the New Cage movement swung to “There are NO mistakes.” People were getting trapped in negativity and victimhood, and missing out on the opportunity for learning that can live at the heart of bad choices. Unfortunately, they swung too far towards the other polarity and created a different kind of prison, one where we are no longer careful with our actions because there are ‘always’ beneficial lessons to be learned. The fact is that sometimes mistakes are so deadly that there is no opportunity for redemption and learning. Sometimes people die from their mistakes and from those made by others. So perhaps its time- as with many ‘New Cage’ principles- to invite common sense into the equation. Sometimes a mistake is a wondrous opportunity for individual and collective transformation. And sometimes a mistake, is simply a mistake.” ~Jeff Brown
We not only have to own our mistakes and wrongdoings to ourselves and others. We also have to own our feelings as a result of ourselves and others doing wrong to us.
Spirituality needs balance. Very little is either / or. The truth is right down the middle, quite often. You might have bullied a kid when you were younger. You caused REAL harm to that child. You SHOULD feel guilt. Own it. It’s real. And once you take responsibility for that, then you will heal. And that little child you hurt? They need to own their feelings from what you did. They need to blame you. You NEED to let them blame you. They need to be the victim. This allows their feelings to surface so that they can feel them and heal the wound. Once the wound is healed, then they realize their lesson. THEN, only AFTER they have done the nose-to-the-grindstone grueling process of feeling all their emotions, they learn why they attracted that event and the lesson theirin.
It’s both. None one or the other. Extremes are more often than not, falsehoods. Honor the balance in everything to avoid getting lost in the dogma of spiritual teachings. Truth is often mixed with deception.