Your past is probably in your present. The unresolved wounds have followed you here. Childhood trauma causes us to split off from ourselves leaving us fragmented. The split is the unconscious part of your mind (inner child/shadow self) and the unconscious rules roughly 80's of your mind, behavior, your emotions, thoughts and decisions. This means... Continue Reading →
The Worst Thing to Tell a Survivor
If I were going to die today and I just had one piece of advice I could give to the world, I would say the worst thing you could ever tell a survivor is to move on already or to get over it or something in that vein. Whether it is child abuse, shellshock or... Continue Reading →
The Purpose of Suffering
I intuit everything has a purpose for our growth. Doesn't mean you don't have to think it stinks; doesn't mean you shouldn't be have your feelings about it. Just means our own pain has meaning to make us better people. Having said that, while my inner child might be pissed off, the adult part of... Continue Reading →
Looking at Bullying More Deeply
Standing up to bullies requires you to have some level of confidence in yourself, some self-knowledge that you matter and you deserve better. This might be the difference between those who fight back and those who don't. Those who don't, on some level, might believe the bullies and probably feel they deserve it. Also if... Continue Reading →
Nothing stunts progress more than thinking you’re already there.
Egoic people will think they are egoless. Ignorant people are the most confident. Those unaware of themselves will think they are self-aware. Those who haven't begun the healing journey will call themselves lightworkers. Sleeping people will think they are awake. Unhealthy people will think they are healthy. The programmed will think they are finished deprogramming.... Continue Reading →
The Unreliability of Personal Experience
I always say personal experience is our best way to truth. Throw dogma and orthodoxy to the wayside and only answer to yourself. Everything outside of you is usually just a racket and a barrel of monkeys. But even personal experience is tricky. It sounds romantic and easy, but to judge using personal experience as... Continue Reading →
Why it Makes No Sense to Rush People Along Their Path
We all grow in stages and we all step on the same rungs to get from one place in our development to the next. Each rung to the top has everyone's footprints on it. To think you can pull people out of stages that you used to be in and force them to be where... Continue Reading →
Does telling people to think positively actually work?
If you have to tell yourself or someone else to think positively, here is why you might be wasting your time. Life isn't so simple that you can snap your fingers and woo --- I'm positive now! Demanding others think positively is not too different from telling someone to get their diploma before going to... Continue Reading →
Why I help others….And why it’s worth it.
I have been interested in Psychology since I was 17 and ever since then, I have had my head buried in literature. In high school, I was the only one in my class who read the textbook even outside homework. I was fascinated. I wanted to know what made people tick. Now that I am... Continue Reading →
Trauma and The Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response
“Before researching trauma, I had never connected what Dr. Herman refers to as an “altered state” with how I coped with incest. If we can’t “fight or flee,” we go into an altered state. Once such state is “freezing.” We don’t decide to freeze. It’s involuntary. “If the terror continues, the child may move from... Continue Reading →
Why More People Need to Feel Sorry for Themselves
Feeling sorry for ourselves and the infamous "self-pity" is really self-compassion. And it's very very rare. Our culture shuns and shames anyone who pities or feels sorry for themselves as we have all heard our parents and elders saying "Stop feeling sorry for yourself!". We have heard our culture saying "You're stuck in self-pity; get... Continue Reading →
The Cultural Pressure to be Happy
Merry Christmas Happy New Year Happy Holidays Happy Birthday Just be happy! Hope you feel better Hope everything's OK What's good? What's UP? Hope you are feeling better. How are you? with the expectations the other will respond with "I'm fine." Don't worry; be happy. Our culture might be a little obsessed with happiness. The... Continue Reading →
Is it Possible that Some People are Better than Others?
The God Complex on the Road to Awakening I used to get stuck in the trap of "spiritual ego" or that dark place where I used to think I was better than others. I used to talk to my husband about this and it helped a lot. I knew it was a problem, but I... Continue Reading →
The Happiness Trap
Spiritual gurus can be an essential part of our growth in the awakening process, but we will probably learn later on that we are your own guru. Gurus who have a following might speak some truths (which is what wheels us in because they have candy!), but for as much candy as they give out,... Continue Reading →
The Untruthiness and Irony of The Truth Movement
The truth movement or the resistance culture is just another thick layer of programming that we eventually need to deprogram from. The ego, while waking up, is simultaneously dipping the mind in a different shade of programming and calling itself "awake". The truth movement is a necessary stage in the process of awakening, but contrary... Continue Reading →
Most Child Molestation Abuse Goes Unreported | Why We Can’t Trust Statistics
Trigger Warning: Sex Abuse. If you cannot handle this topic, please don't read below.... The problem with sex abuse stats is that most of them go unreported. While it's more common for adult women to report being raped, it's much less common for adult men to report the same due to the pressure to "be... Continue Reading →
Possibly The Highest State of Mind
The highest state of the mind might be a paradoxical state where you realize that everything is connected and everything is both. I can't explain it any other way than to say that things in life might not be one or the other, not this or that, but both. Since everything is connected, even duality... Continue Reading →