Which is the right way to be? Extroverted or Introverted?

Sometimes being introverted or extroverted is about pain-avoidance. Sometimes we need to avoid pain. Sometimes it is about being afraid to leave our comfort zones. Sometimes it is trauma-based. Sometimes it’s not about avoiding pain and more about how we need to be where we are for our growth. Sometimes it’s about the experience as in we have lifetimes of being an extrovert and sometimes being an introvert.

If our comfort zone is to constantly be around people all the time because maybe we need to be distracted from our own inner pain all the time or maybe we cannot bear ourselves because we don’t like ourselves. If we find ourselves unable to handle our own thoughts or quiet mind, then to evolve, we might need to spend some time alone and learn to enjoy our own company, learn to go within and find whatever is there.

If our comfort zone is to be alone all the time, we are likely trying to avoid the pain of dealing with people we don’t like, the pain of wearing a mask or the pain of others judging us because we are “different”. If we find ourselves escaping intimate relationships with others, then we need to take the risk of getting triggered and our hearts broken and create a social life for ourselves. If you don’t like wearing a mask and the soul-killing task of manipulating people into thinking you have worth through people-pleasing, you’re not choosing the right people to be around. Or maybe you’re the one who is judgmental and need to learn how to accept people of all walks of life? This is something I personally have trouble with, though I do find happiness in a balance of alone time and being social. Some people might be here to experience being an extrovert because they might have been an introvert in the previous lifetime or vice versa. Nobody can possibly know why everyone’s here and what kinds of outfits they’ll be trying on in this lifetime. When you know that much of this is about experience, it might be harder to judge introverts or extroverts.

Extroverts can be very harsh in their criticism of introverts so now an angry tribe of introverts are lashing out at extroverts. Both groups think they are superior to their opposition… Judgement, as you can see, begets more of it.

Being introverted or extroverted — neither is wrong. We are all here to live in each of those costumes. We try them both on so that we can empathize with the other side (eventually) since that is how we mature. It is helpful to experience both and then find a way to be social without giving away your own sacred me-time. It’s all about balance and sometimes the pendulum has to swing back and forth before it finds harmony.

Self-esteem is key. If you like yourself, it’s easier to be alone AND easier to be with other people. Once we learn to like ourselves, everything changes and balance might become effortless.

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