Here I challenge pop-spirituality on what I think spiritual maturation might be about. I don’t know the answers, but I do love to talk about my own thoughts and perceptions. I do not get my ideas from others. All my thoughts come from my experiences on my journey.
One myth about what people might call enlightenment/ascention/awakening/self-actualization…. is that I don’t think we are supposed to be leaving our bodies and turning into light beings on this physical realm. Being a light being, hell, we already do that when we die. It’s boring. Been there, done that. We are eternal beings and that’s pretty much all we do. Yawn. It’s not impressive. We are already experts at wearing a “Merkaba”! This human journey, however, is much more interesting. Here we get to have a human experience INSIDE of a body.
This might be our challenge: To come back into our bodies. Repressed childhood trauma causes us to split off from our bodies. We are fragmented beings. We have many parts of self and each part of self might not know the other parts of self. This keeps us from not knowing who we are. Our journey might be to learn who we are. Every time we give full expression to our feelings, we are integrating all those fragmented splits of self and learning who we are. Inch by inch. Lifetime by lifetime.
As I am just beginning to return to my own body, I am realizing that I cannot feel my body. It’s like it’s not even there. Surely I realize I have a body when I am in pain or if I am hugged by someone. I don’t mean there is no sensation. Language proves impotent here as I cannot find the words to tell you what if feels like to be dissociated from my body. But as I am inching back into it, then I realize just how split off I was! This is not something we can understand until we start coming back to our bodies. It’s like how the more you learn, the more you realize how much you don’t know. The more we merge into our bodies, the more we might realize how split off we are. Lately during my healing sessions, I am learning that before anything happens, I need to come back into my body and become One with it. Then I realized how I was taught by pop-spirituality that our job is to move out of our dense bodies and be light beings and now I understand just how absurd that is. It’s ironic to think that they are telling us to rise above our bodies when we already have and that is the whole problem!
The easiest thing to do is run from our bodies. Of course we want to be light beings! Because that means we don’t get to feel our bodies. Our bodies remind us of too much pain, they remind us of our fragility, our vulnerability, our powerlessness, our humility, our imperfections, our old wounds that we’d rather not remember… Of course we want out of the body! This is why it is so hard to move back into it. And this might very well be our goal so that we may TRULY know ourselves on the deepest levels.
We are probably not supposed to rise and fly away. I don’t think we are supposed to rise over anything. I think we’re supposed to become One with everything and embrace that connection to ALL: the light and the dark. I have heard internet new age celebrities talk about how we are really supposed to be flying (yes somebody said advanced souls should be flying in the air, literally), that it’s an accident we are inside physical bodies, we need to take those bodies off of us, that we are not our bodies.
The truth is, trees do not grow unless they are firmly grounded and rooted. And we must ground with the body. The goal, I think, to self-actualize is to fully embody the soul on a physical level on this physical plane. To become One with the Body is the hardest thing anyone can do. I imagine nothing can be more liberating. When we merge back into our bodies, I imagine that it will be easy to see then that there would be no difference between our souls and bodies. They are one in the same. The idea that everything is connected is Literal. We cannot see that, however, when we are still split off from our bodies. So long as we are fragmented ourselves, the world outside and inside of us will appear fragmented. I don’t even believe in isolated incidences. I believe all things are connected. We just have to start connecting the dots. Even the light and dark are two sides of the same coin.
Spiritual leaders may say a thing or two that is accurate to pull you in to get your blind trust, however, they rely on that very blind trust to manipulate you into believing the things that can hold us back on our journeys. Much better to start believing yourself. Trust your own experiences. Be your own guru.