Is Happiness a Choice? What does this even mean?

We often tell others how to think, feel, and live coming from a simplistic view of humanity. We might do this not because we are stupid or mean, but because we don’t know or understand ourselves or why we are here. So we tell others how to do life based on how little we understand our own complex selves.

Those who say happiness is a choice might be unhappy with themselves and their life and don’t realize it. And when they see others looking unhappy, it only reminds them of how unhappy they are. Since we are all connected, we often mirror one another. What we see in someone else is often a reflection of our shadow (the part of ourselves we don’t want to see). We try to shut others down so we can avoid looking at ourselves.  If we are TRULY happy, however, we accept people for who they are and where they are. Happiness and empathy are one in the same.  Happiness doesn’t require anyone to be a certain way.  We happy people live off our own batteries — not other’s.

Is happiness a choice? To challenge popular belief, I don’t believe misery is chosen consciously. I think we like to think that way as our limited mind tries to make sense of an unlimited mysterious complicated external world. When we don’t know ourselves, our lens in which we view the world is narrowed and clouded by unresolved wounds of the past.

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” ~Socrates

My second point: Why would someone want to manifest or attract only positivity into their lives? For me, that defeats the purpose of even being here. While I’m here for the good times, I’m also here to be challenged because I want to mature. When we play games, do we put it on the easiest level ensuring that we win each time? Of course not. We raise the bar and make it challenging because when we DO win, we can really feel good and accomplished. We can celebrate our courage, our determination, and our perseverance. From climbing up a wobbly ladder and getting up to the top from that, that is how we see OUR TRUE STRENGTH and learn who we are! Our souls come here to advance and they cannot do that when we are trying to prevent misfortune. Luckily our souls are the ones in charge because even if our egos are running away from life, our souls provide us with challenges regardless of what we tell ourselves or how much we beg the Universe to spare us.

This is why I don’t participate in any rituals to get what I want. I’m already getting what I want. Life is AWESOME for the good, the bad, the ugly and in between. Bring it on! Doesn’t mean I’ll like the rough times, but I am sure to grow from all the experiences I have here.

If you see someone pouting, whining, complaining….. and you don’t like it? Stop, right there. Take a deep breath and wonder… just what is it for YOU. Because it is about you. Why is this behavior triggering you? Be brutally honest. Write in your journal about which emotions might be surfacing. Try and sit with whatever feeling comes up. Why?

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung

Finally, to understand how humans work on a deeper level, we at some point need to understand why we are here. Once that is understood, it becomes a lot easier to accept and forgive ourselves and others. We are complex. It is healthier to replace judgment with curiosity and wonder. Get to know your friends more. Ask them questions. This creates empathy and compassion.

If we could all see the world through the eyes of others, we would treat people so much better and resist the idea that we know what is best for another person.

“Some people need to create a nightmare far worse
than the one they came from before they will go back
and heal their early wounds. We see this in trauma
survivors all the time. They pile hell upon hell, until
they have only two choices—die, or heal the wounds
they are fleeing. I used to find this confusing, but I
no longer do. Sometimes the first hell was so bloody
bad that it takes a far worse hell to uncover it. Bows
to those who choose to heal their hells, after so many
years on the run. Bows to those courageous beings
who give reality a try before they have any evidence
that it will serve them. If this isn’t courage, I don’t
know what is.” –JEFF BROWN

Comments are closed.

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: