I often hear others say that it’s not fair that sociopaths are so happy and it’s always the good people who have to suffer as their victims.
The myth of the happy sociopath might have to do with the false beliefs that were ingrained in us since we were children on what happiness means. A lot of us have differing ideas about what happiness is.
Myth 1: “Sociopaths look happy because they have material wealth” (i.e. having a nice car, nice house, nice clothes etc…):
My POV: Monetary wealth provides only comfort and financial security. That should not be confused with inner peace. I once read that one of the happiest places in the world was a tribe in Africa that lived minimalistically. This makes a lot of sense. More and more privileged people everyday are moving toward minimalism since the accumulation of THINGS can cause us to feel enslaved. Part of spiritually advancing means you are realizing that connection with others are more important than things. I have long-held this belief that the most content people live simple lives and are much more in tune, heart-centered and connected to Nature.
Comfort provides temporary gratification while love and connection suggests even if we suffer through tragedy, real solid friendship and support might take the edge off. No matter what happens in life, if we are loved and can love, this helps us through the dark holes of Life.
Myth 2: “Sociopaths have no feelings and therefore are happy”.
My POV: Those who have the most inner peace are those who can feel everything within and without. Empathy, love, compassion, and sensitivity are all in the same family and the happiest people embody these virtues. While it’s not always pleasant to feel the dark stuff, feeling feelings is a sign we are ALIVE, liberated, authentic and connected. Those who have shut down by no fault of their own, however, used to have feelings. Something horrible must have happened to them to have become so traumatized and enraged that in order to survive they have had to shut off and tune out. What could have happened to them that was so bad, they had to die while they were still alive? They can no longer feel their own pain and as a result, cannot feel yours either. There is something relatable in a sociopath if we are honest with ourselves since we might have all had the experience of dissociating from trauma and feeling split off from the self whether we’re aware of it or not. Sometimes being emotionally detached is survival for those who have suffered through massive trauma. And we fill ourselves with all sorts of addictions, disempowering beliefs, and distractions to keep our pain repressed just to get out of bed everyday. The only difference between us and sociopaths is that they dissociate on much more advanced levels and are completely shut down. That is why they are able to do the damage they do to others. This is not happiness. They are dead, lost souls.
Myth 3: “I know a sociopath who laughs, cries, smiles, tells jokes, and is popular”
My POV: Oh goodness. The ultimate mask of the old smile and the academy award-winning alligator tears….
Sociopaths wear a mask that only highly sensitive people can detect. They fool most everyone as sociopaths are the most intelligent people out there. Covert narcissists KNOW you and once they KNOW you, they know how to get into your head and do some serious damage.
Popularity means nothing. I have only a handful of friends. I am unknown and pretty happy.
Myth 4: “Sociopaths get away with everything”.
My POV: Even if they are not incarcerated? I trust that they are the most miserable people out there. Their karma is instant. We are by default, on the soul-level, beings made out of the energy of Love and so when we harm others, we harm ourselves the most.
Myth 5: “I know their family. They had a happy childhood”
My POV: How do we know who had a happy childhood because we were friends of the family? Or went to church with them? Or their parents were philanthropists? Unless we could see behind their closed doors day in and day out, night in and night out, we can never assume anyone had a happy childhood. It is even typical that victims of severe child abuse don’t even remember the events themselves due to repression. This is how many of us survived child abuse. It’s because our spirit leaves the body during the abuse and some of us don’t start to remember until much later in life if even at all. It is common that those families who abuse children wear a facade of friendliness to the outside world. And we are often fooled by their masks. (This is how sociopaths do their work!) It’s a cliché that often neighbors of serial killers comment how kind and normal the serial killer appeared to them. We trust face-values too often.
If we still think sociopaths are the happiest people in the world, tell me, when you’re feeling happy or having a great day, is your first instinct to rape a child or burn someone’s house down?
Sociopaths might the most pitiable people out there. I truly feel sorry for them. I’d much rather be a victim any day of the week than a perpetrator.