This question was asked to the writers of "The Courage to Heal". So, I am taking it upon myself to answer this as well since this must be a common inquiry for people like myself. My answer is that it is not depressing for me at all! I got through enough of my healing that... Continue Reading →
The 11 ways in which I believe healing can be difficult for some people. 1) You have too many triggers in your current life. For real true healing to happen, one must feel supported and be in a safe environment free from more abuse. This means you have to cut abusive people out of your... Continue Reading →
For ages, we have been an extroverted world. The introverted aspect of me has always had a big problem with this. I dislike being forced into social situations I wanted no part of. I want to be me! I cannot be myself when I am around the wrong people. While we are all social beings, we... Continue Reading →
The reason compassion for others is missing in our world might be because we lack compassion for ourselves. And the reason why we lack compassion for ourselves is because it was never given to us. I am not talking sympathy or flattery here. I am talking about REAL COMPASSION. Compassion is relating to other's pain and... Continue Reading →
The most raw expression you have, the most authentic part of you is your emotions. Emotions are rage, anger, jealousy, terror, fear, sadness, shame, guilt, helplessness, joy, laughter, bliss, happiness.... "In order to fully embrace our inner power, we first need to accept all emotions rather than ignoring certain emotions that we think are too... Continue Reading →
I keep hearing people talk about how even if we recover from our pasts, that life is still hopeless because of the modern world. Or that people without any trauma should still feel despair and grief because the modern world is corrupt. This is, as always, my opinion, but I don't think there is anything... Continue Reading →
It doesn't make sense that a possum would play possum. How is that any help for the possum? Animals kill other animals -- not because they are acting out their repressed rage from childhood, but for their food! A possum playing dead gives no advantage to herself since her predator will eat her dead or... Continue Reading →
The collective cost of not being there for each other....and the justified vicious cycle.... We all know we cannot complain in our culture. Only few do it openly. How are you? Fine. Even when life is not fine, we know better. We say fine. Everyone's got problems and nobody wants to hear yours. Because it's... Continue Reading →
Most things about me are slow and "late to the party" for a lack of a better term. My mom used to call me a "dumb Pollack" growing up because it takes me a long time to learn new things. I am also slow to understand what people are saying and often ask people to... Continue Reading →
IS IT REALLY MENTAL "ILLNESS"? Maybe the name should be changed to "Survivor Reaction Suppression"? This is a phenomenon where as children, we froze because we could not either flee or fight off our attackers. Freeze is one of 4 biological stress responses to trauma and unhealed people live in a functional variation of unexpressed... Continue Reading →
Truth is 100% objective. It's perception that is subjective and individual. We are all mutated and unhealed in some fashion and so long as we have unhealed wounds, we might unconsciously continue to see the world and others through the lens of wounds (the child mind). This is why we all have unique perceptions. Our... Continue Reading →
Ordering people to get out of victimhood, to suck it up, that they created their own reality, that others have it worse, to snap out of it, to get over it, to let it go, to move on already, to not be dramatic, to cheer up, that they are lazy or life isn't supposed to... Continue Reading →
When we carry unresolved trauma (and we all have been traumatized to some degree or another), our past rules our thoughts, our dreams, our behaviors, our addictions, our choices, our beLIEfs, and our health. One thing that brings us all together is that we are living in the past while not being conscious of it.... Continue Reading →
"Armchair psychologist" is a derogatory term used to shame and silence those who have insight, personal experience or opinions on the human condition (without mainstream accreditation) that makes someone else feel uncomfortable. You can only opine on trauma, it's impact and the ways to heal only if you have mainstream accreditation. This makes no logical... Continue Reading →
...and how to help people when they are down...... People can appear to be "stuck in victimhood". To resolve this, ask yourself why this happens. When you feel you have the answer, but are still silently condemning or are still irritated or feel the need to lecture, then you might not know the real reason... Continue Reading →
When we are being raped, someone is literally imposing their will on us. We realize at that point we are powerless and there is no escape. Rape is a power-grab. Unhealed childhood sexual abuse can cause us to feel like others are forcing their opinions down our throat even when that is not happening. When... Continue Reading →
The part of the brain responsible for intuition, discernment, and critical thinking can get compromised when we have been traumatized as children. This is why some of us might get re-exposed to the same trauma as adults. Childhood trauma can set the stage to more victimization in adulthood because we might put our trust in... Continue Reading →
The word "healing" in our culture has two different meanings depending on who is talking. There is one kind of healing that is false-healing which does not involve much pain. The main goal of most therapists, spiritual teachers and life-coaches (even if they have good intentions) is to get you to trick your mind into... Continue Reading →
Nobody comes out of a traumatic background unscathed unless they have fully done the difficult blood, sweat and tears work of recovery. Some of us (like myself) are really skilled at putting on a mask and blocking out pain so convincingly that people think we are not suffering! Those who are extroverts, laugh a lot,... Continue Reading →
Concerning the inquiry of why people sexually abuse others, there have been many people who have dug deeply and have shared their views. Generously, Adrian Millane of Australia, opined on this topic today and gave me the permission to share it. I think this is important to read because if we don't get to the... Continue Reading →
The most troubled people might feel the need to have positive people around them to counter all the negative thoughts and behaviors they exhibit. This might be why positivity is often preached. I had wondered my whole life why positive people were often the ones displaying negative behavioral patters. My tentative opinion is that they... Continue Reading →
It is very common for childhood sexual abuse survivors who have their memories and emotions fully or partially repressed to need to live in a "sterile bubble". In an environment or any hint of the slightest bit of anything outside of "positivity" puts the survivor at risk to repressed memories and emotions arriving to the... Continue Reading →
False-positivity is a fear-based defense mechanism we might use to protect ourselves from truths we might not want to face. Often this form of denial is masqueraded as an enlightened state when in reality, people in this state cannot cope with reality. There is nothing wrong with living in fear, but so long as we... Continue Reading →
If you think you are healed and don't have compassion for humanity and all the stages they pass through on the road to self-authentication, then you have not healed. If you are condemning others or trying to push them to a stage they are not ready for yet, that is not what being healed looks... Continue Reading →
They can be found here.
There are some therapies out there that promise the body stuff and the emotional release and we can get a tremendous amount of benefit from those cathartic therapies. But there is a caveat. In the case of Core Energetics (CE), they might interrupt the automatic process of regression and reliving. Contrary to popular belief, to... Continue Reading →
What if kindness, compassion, selflessness and love come authentically only after a process through trauma recovery? What if some forms of nice-ness are trauma responses often called "the fawn response" while kindness is a byproduct of healing? Are we being unrealistic when we ask others to be nice to us? Be nice. Be kind. Be... Continue Reading →
Many think classical music is boring and I cannot blame people for that. To be fair, we are not really exposed to all the branches of the tree of classical music. Our exposure is grossly limited. My husband has opened my eyes to cathartic classical music. How can one watch the below orchestra and think... Continue Reading →
I am so glad there is a "word" for people like myself. My real people are those who aren't afraid of communication. "As many of us have found out, silence can be violence when it is used in an effort to wound. It is one of the most potent ways to cause deep suffering. And... Continue Reading →
After reading Marilyn Van Derbur's book, "Miss America By Day", it became clear to me that incest sexual abuse could very well be one of the hardest things anyone can go through since it is the kind of abuse we are most likely to deny and forget. And on top of the abuse, not only... Continue Reading →
